#38 Confessions of a Secret Hallmark Fan

On finding the true comfort of Christmas

So I think I’m addicted to Hallmark Movies. It feels so good to finally be able to admit this to the world. 

Every December my incredibly discerning and sophisticated taste in movies gets put in the loft, only to be brought out again after New Year. In its place I spend many a winter’s night wrapped up on the sofa with various members of my family watching a film called something like ‘A Christmas Story Christmas’ (yes, that’s a real title) or ‘Just in Time for Christmas’ (basically Sliding Doors with a sleigh). 

Did you hear the one about the guy who fell asleep during one Hallmark Christmas movie and woke up in the middle of another one? It took him half an hour to notice. They are that formulaic!

Every film starts with the big city career woman being forced to return to her small town, 'Christmasville,' for the holidays because she has to sell her late grandmother’s family home/farm/hotel. 

Next the main character, Holly/Angel/Mary/Bell, encounters a handsome but mildly annoying chef/woodcutter/candy cane factory worker who reminds her of the true spirit of Christmas. 

Before the big kiss under the mistletoe at the end, there is usually a trip to a Christmas tree farm, a Save the Farm/Town/Hotel/Drive-in movie theatre/Candy cane factory fundraising event, alongside a minor miscommunication about the royal status of one of the main characters.

For those of us who know our Christmas Towns from our Christmas Lands you might be able to guess the name of these generic holiday films just from the synopsis:

“Charlotte is a fashion designer who accepts a Christmas challenge to design a holiday-themed collection, but in the process of finding her inspiration she discovers what matters most in life.”

The title of this one? Christmas by Design. Obvs. Or what about this classic?

“Architect Taylor teams up with baker and single dad Adam to build a life-size gingerbread house for a contest whilst hoping for a promotion at work.”

That's Gingerbread Romance, of course. 

Occasionally the plots stretch the boundaries of festive sanity like in Under the Christmas Sky where an Astrophysicist is scheduled to voyage into space until an accident grounds her. Eventually she volunteers at the local planetarium and meets her true Christmas love. Seriously. This is real. One critic said of this movie that “the romance could have used a little more rocket fuel.” 

I am not quite sure if I have seen it. They all blur into one after a while. 

“We want media that doesn't make us think but just lets us feel.” The Los Angeles Film School Blog 

The Hallmark of Christmas

Why do we love movies full of festive decorations, holiday atmospheres, heartwarming family moments and predictable plot twists in the snow? It’s likely because of the juxtaposition of what's going on the screen versus what’s happening beyond it. We yearn for U rating plot lines because we live in an X-rated world.

“In a scary world, I find comfort in the kind-hearted community members of different ages and races, devoted best friends, and men who don’t break your heart.” Jenny Forwark - Hallmark Fan Blog

No wonder we prefer the simple tension of whether the Christmas Concert will raise enough money to save the Orphanage when it feels like the real Christmas spirit is far from present.

We long for red and green because our world is not black and white.

There might be drama in Hallmark Christmas movies, but it's always resolved quickly and you always know there's going to be a happy ending. "We can be attracted to the easy solutions because our day-to-day life can seem to have more questions than answers." Kati Morton - HuffPost

The Holy Hallmark

There may be some Christians that prefer to deny what is happening around us right now in our world and bury their heads in the comfort of their religion. There may be some churches who fall foul to a “don't make us think but just let us feel” mentality. Yet the trouble with the escapist plot lines of Hallmark movies (or the bubble of our religious comfort zones) is that they hide us from pain rather than process or position it. They numb us rather than heal us.

But this is not the message of Christmas. 

The real Christmas story was a visceral tale of refugees, infanticide, political tensions, pregnant teenagers, and unexpected journeys. Rather than pull us out of the mess of our world, the nativity story speaks right into it. It steps into the madness of the Roman Empire and points to the hope of a different kingdom. 

“Because of God’s tender mercy,

    the morning light from heaven is about to break upon us, 

to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,

    and to guide us to the path of peace.”

The Prophecy of Zachariah - Luke 1:78-79

Now that’s a message worth hearing on repeat this Holiday season.